You're a womanizer and a bitch.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
