what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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