well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
