I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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