I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
