i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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