I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
