you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
