She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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