the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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