you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
