No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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