I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
