hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
