Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
