She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
