At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
how does that bad decision feel?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
