I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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