no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
