Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
