Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
