I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Small penises have feelings too.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
