There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
