Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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