Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
