Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im holly from the hills drunk
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
