Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
