in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You can't just leave with hair like that
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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