If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
im holly from the hills drunk
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
