Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
PANTIES FOUND
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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