My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
