I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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