just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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