Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
