The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
