when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
