Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
