He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
