You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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