Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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