He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
