I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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