Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
