For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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