As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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