you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
