***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
