my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
