the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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