I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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