It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
