my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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