Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
