Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
